Run #72 – The Clocks Go Back Run Rehashed

Confucius said: “The noble man traces his curves with elegance and grace; the man of low moral character pleases himself to cartoon porn.”
And so it was, following the previous day’s mountain marathon, that a brave few, namely Battery Operated, 7Up, Creature Comforts, and Vulva Voyeur showed up for a recovery run “marked” by Cartoon Porn and virgin co-hare Pommie James. Things started off OK with a leisurely trot over the Xilin Bridge where arrows quickly led to a Circle Back. The group (minus 7Up who left without telling anyone, Deep Throat-style) quickly redubbed itself “Team America” and found the trail heading off to the direction of Su Di. Arrows were inconsistent in size, thickness, girth, and time in between appearances, but one was spotted shortly after the left turn onto Su Di pointing ahead. Then, it was general confusion as Team America ran the entire length of Su Di without seeing a single marker. An impromptu regroup was called at the end of Su Di and Team America headed back across Su Di taking the “scenic route” by the water and enjoyed several unscheduled regroups to take in the beautiful views of the sunset. Right before crossing the Xiling Bridge, we spotted an arrow pointing in the opposite direction, telling 7Up to jump off a bridge and everyone else to circle back, which we missed on the initial run across. Thoroughly confused, Team America gave up and continued back, and in true ugly American tourist fashion, flaunted rules, flipped off a Bao’an, and charged across the fenced off grass back to the Shangri-La to mete out punishments. There, Team America ran into Kiwi Jamie, who apparently came a few minutes late, and intending to catch up, missed the CB entirely on the other side of the Xilin Bridge and ran in circles on Solitary Hill Island instead of heading to Su Di. 7Up ran off shortly to avoid having to face the circle. Hares were pounded on with multiple trail violations, including general incompetence with the trail turning flaccid less than 5 minutes into the run, lack of length and girth of arrows, and lack of technique and nonsensical positions with CBs less than 10 meters away from related arrows. Battery Operated was given a violation for singing Disney songs on run. Rage over (lack of) trail was such that naming offenses were entirely forgotten. To add to the general confusion of the evening, when a gaggle of old Chinese ladies stopped to gawk at the circle, Kiwi Jamie called out “Ni hao!” whilst Vulva Voyeur rejoined with a hearty “G’day mate!” Laowais being in the majority tonight, a decision was made to head to Provence, where a bottle of imported red wine provided the perfect counterpart to an excellent if pricey selection of amuse-gueules,  plats, et desserts, served with real cutlery and no chopsticks to a table of laowais who, thankfully, still remembered how to use them. The meal over, all was forgiven, and it was on on back home to nurse our collective mountain marathon wounds…
On on,
Vulva Voyeur

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