The pack assembled outside Maya, some with significant feelings of
deja vu from the the previous week. Your scribe, Bestiality, had run
his way there from Hangda lu, desperate to make sure he was not late
for the start. Apparently, I shouldn’t have bothered, as only new
runner Chris awaited me there with the hares, and a small chinese
child who was immensely enjoying looking up peoples trouser legs. Once
I could no longer stand to have my privates inspected, and 15 minutes
had passed, we set off, collecting Sabrina along the way, who must
have been hiding in the shadows.

They say a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. In
hashing, a journey of a thousand check backs can often start with a
single arrow. I had a feeling we might be in for a rough time as the
first arrow pointed directly between two possible routes at a tree,
giving about as clear an indication as the mona lisa’s smile. The
trail was located however, and quickly took us into the bush behind
Maya where an inevitable hill climb followed. Markings were few and
far between, and with a pack of three, it was often the case that all
possible avenues were checked, then rechecked before the next patch of
flour was found. Indeed, so sparse was the flour that I was recalled
to the trail by shouts of on-on to see a clearly marked trail leading
up and back towards where we had come from. Enthusiasm and a clear
trail proved too much for our less inexperienced hashers, and it was
not long before Sabrina was calling back “what does CB mean?” ON-ON we
went, again finding that the only way to locate the flour was to crawl
with magnifying glasses and hope for the best. Sabrina, by far the
most energetic of the hashers disappeared up the trail as I checked
back to the last mark (yet again) and managed to find an arrow at
about the same time I found two specks of flour leading towards a
dirty brick wall. ON-ON it was and the wall was forgotten in favour of
the clean chalk on pavement which quickly lead us back to Shuguan Lu
and home. Let this be a lesson to hares: if your trail is so hard to
find that people can get 200M off the trail and miss your cleverly
laid traps entirely, then you are not laying enough flour. (I think I
have beat that dead horse enough now…)

We encountered Seven-Up at the finish, who was 20 mins late to the
start of the run, and basically hadn’t bothered to try and catch the
pack. This was marginally better than Vulva who was not just late to
the run, but to the circle itself. Sabrina skipped the drinking, but
the rest of us quickly made up for that. An honourable mention to
Chris here for commitment to his fellow runners; instigating a
personal one runner drinks, all runners drink policy that ensured he
got his fair share of the beer. Seven-Up managed to break basically
every circle rule imaginable in her first week as GM; using her phone,
leaving the circle and at one point giving beer to a 3-yr old child.
By far and away her worst crime was not telling all of us to get
stuffed for even mentioning it, as a GM should rule with an iron fist,
usually clamped around a cup of beer! ON-ON!

After the big birthday party the night before and on a rainy day it’s not expected that many runners will show up, and the on-sec’s vague venue description made everything worse. When Sevenup arrived at the west end of Xinyi fang, there was no one but a heavy rain. Phonebox arrived, under pressure from Sevenup, and virgin hound Chris turned up soon after. Well, we set off quite late. The real venue was at the east side of Xinyi Fang so it took a long time gather all of the hashers, Bestiality, Battery Operated, and Adam, also the two hares, Henti and Pop-tart. The whole trail was deadly easy; it went north along the Grand Canel and then turned back. That’s why when we got lost at Gongchen Bridge, Battery Operated and Phonebox simply took the way back from the other side of the canel, and Sevenup, instead of following Bestality’s correct instruction to go a bit further, turned back too with virgin hasher Chris. Definitely, Chris is not another Pushup as Henti mentioned before the run; he is more like a walker then a runner; could be Skidmarks’ best company if she is still here. And the big difference is, both being different native English speakers, this Chris is moral and polite campared that grandfather, haha. All of our NICE hasher names really embarrased this Chris, but he did enjoy our circle close song. Dinner was at a nearby restaurant. Two scared dishes Henti ordered turned out to be delicious food, and Sevenup shared her dildo (i mean the fake penis, forgot how to spell it) (hebei sausage) which was kindly provided by Henti for everyone. Sheep Shagger and Deep Throat later also joined for the dinner.

Frans, Lucy and Doggiestyle built up a triangle hare group. Except trail setting, they also helped one 8-year old lost girl found her father, well done. Sabrina and Pop-tart arrived quite early, then 7UP, Henti and Adam. The four hashers set off first, while Henti stayed to wait for his another female friend. The runners got lost shortly after because of the hidden turning arrow under the railing of the bridge; this definitely deserves one downdown, plus the later “X”, indicating a wrong trail which turned out to be the correct one, two downdowns for the hares! At the foot of Santai shan, we lost Pop-tart , and couldn’t find her anywhere. Considering that the late starting Henti might catch her, we decided not to wait anymore. No special thing happened on the way up Santai shan, except at one check point, 7UP beat Adam in the “Rock, Scissor, Cloth” game, and won the priority to check the upway, therefore, poor Adam had to first check down before then climbing up again. The way back was uneventful; quite soon we went back to Maojia Bu, followed by Henti and his friend, but no Pop-tart . 7Up made 9 phone calls to her, but without answer– she left her phone and muted it. Though she finally showed up and the circle began. Hares consumed much of the beer because of the ” one hare drinks, all hares drink” rule. There was the regular naming offence, 7UP had put two different venues in the hash email, Lucy used the hash flour to draw a heart on Frans, etc, then it’s time for dinner@fengdu’s. Two excuses, the day after the Valentine’s day and raining, lots of hashers didn’t show up, but it’s still a beautiful run.

Mild breeze, warm sunshine , tea fields and above all Mao Jia Bu made a perfect Sunday afternoon. After a long and funny or boring New Year holiday, it seems that the majority people are still in their winter slumber, except the very few who turned up in the first run in the year of the Ox, the pack of 7 intrepid oxes, namely, consisting of Vulva Voyeur, Doggie, Sheep Shagger,Seven up, Phonebox, Poptart, and virgin runner Du lijun or Sabrina. After jogging a little while along the teahouses from the start, the pack zigzagged into a field of tea trees and shrubs , then the trail lead to a maze in the woods across the street, managed to get out of the maze, the pack found themselves on a stairway uphill, ran up the stairs for minutes, hoping to get to the top of the hill, the pack unexpectedly found a FT on the way about 1/3 distance away from the top, unreluctantly the pack had to pick the fork trail downhill, winding down the path in the tomb-scattered slope, the pack landed to the foot of the hill and hited on the clean and paved Mei Lin road, with the direction in their head and arrows on the trail, the pack got back to the start down the road uneventfully, except Top tart, who is missing mysteriously from the beginning, and called sevenup that she was running by herself and on the way back when the pack was all back. Later she admitted she was thinking on something while the pack left the start. Then after a regular down-down session, which including toasting to the hare Sevenup and Phonebox, new runner Sabrina, several naming offenses( the most boring offenses , so to speak), and Vulva Voyeur’s new shoes offense, topped off by toasting for the Lantern Festival on the next day and the end of spring festival , last but not least especially for Vulva Voyeur and Doggie the end of f*** annoying fireworks. So was the end of the first run in the year of the Ox, aka. the Ox run.

— OnOn Sheep Shagger