WARNING:   Many songs contain ribald language or suggestive lyrics or taboo topics. Be warned before reading at your own choice.

Can I have a note? Mi Mi Mi Mi Miiiii Yu Yu Yu Yu Yuuuuu

1. SHITTY TRAIL
[Introduce the Hares] (Melody – Mickey Mouse Club March (Listen))

S-H-I-T-T-Y   T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail (It sucked!),
Shitty trail (It was fucked!),
The motherfuckers laid a shitty trail.

I would rather drink a beer than hash a shitty trail,
S-H-I-T-T-Y   T-R-A-I-L

2. THE HASHER SONG
[Patches/Muggings/Namings]

ONE

S/he’s a hasher, s/he’s true blue,
S/he’s a hasher, through and through.
S/he’s an asshole (or pisspot), so they say,
Tried to go to heaven, but s/he went the other way.

Drink it down, down, down, down….

GROUP

They are hashers, they’re true blue,
They are hashers, through and through.
They are assholes (or pisspots), so they say,
Tried to go to heaven, but they went the other way.

Drink it down, down, down, down….

3. SHE’S/HE’S ALL RIGHT

For harriets:

She’s all right,
She’s all right,
She’s a little flat-chested,
But she’s all right.

For well-endowed harriets

She’s all right,
She’s all right,
She’s got a great big rack,
But she’s too white.

For hashers

He’s all right,
He’s all right,
He’s got a teeny-weeny dick,
But he’s all right.

4. DOWN, DOWN, DOWN YOUR BEER
(Melody – Row, Row, Row Your Boat (Listen))

Down Down Down your beer,
To pay for your crime.
Quit complaining about the taste,
There’s no sperm this time.

5. TWENTY TOES
(Melody – The Grand Old Duke of York? (Listen) Kind of…)

There’s a game called twenty toes,
It’s played all over town.
The women play with ten toes up,
The men with ten toes down, down, down, down….

6. BIRTHDAY SONGS

7. THE HANGZHOU HASH SONG

[Virgins / New Cummers] (Tune of Daisy Bell aka Bicycle Built for Two)

NOTE: I have plagiarised 96.58% of this one from the Beijing Hash song… If you can think of any other changes to make it more Hangzhouesque, then let me know.

Hangzhou, Hangzhou, what a wonderful place to Hash,
We have great fun dodging the shit and trash.
Our skies are rarely clear,
But we have cheaper beer.
We like our drinks,
Our singing stinks.
On-On with the Hangzhou Hash.

Hangzhou, Hangzhou, what a wonderful place to be,
LongJing’s quite close, a place surrounded by tea.
The runs are usually longgggg,
But always end in song.
Our singing stinks,
Let’s stick to drinks,
On-On with the Hangzhou Hash.

8. BLESSING OF THE HARES

NOTE: This is not a song, but important to know for Hash procedural matters.

Bless these hares,
Bless this trail.
Coppus no catch us,
Farmer no shoot us,
Doggus no bite us,
Heatus no stroke us,
Plenty of cold beer to drink,
Coitus non interruptus.
9. THE FORESKIN SONG

[When 4 hashers in circle] – Includes actions while singing

My one skin hangs down to my two skin,
My two skin hangs down to my three (my three).
My three skin hangs down to my foreskin,
My foreskin hangs down to my knee.
Roll back, roll back,
Oh, roll back my foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
Oh, roll back my foreskin for me.

10. HERE’S TO BROTHER (or SISTER) HASHER

[May be sung to visitors, or whenever] (Tune of The More We Get Together)

Here’s to brother hasher, brother hasher, brother hasher,
Oh, here’s to brother hasher, he’s with us today.
He’s happy, he’s jolly,
HE’S FUCKED UP, BY GOLLY!
Oh, here’s to brother hasher, he’s with us today.
So drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker.
Here’s to brother hasher, he’s with us today.

11. SWING LOW, SWEET CHARIOT

– The Offical Hash Hymn of The Hash House Harriers

Chorus

Swing low, sweet char-i-o-ot,
Cumin’ four two carry me home…
Swing low, sweet char-i-o-ot,
Cumin’ four two carry me home.

I looked over Jordan,
And what did I see-ee,
Cumin’ four two carry me home…
A band of An-gels,
Cumin’ after me-ee,
Cumin’ four two carry me home…

Chorus

(Song master says, ‘2nd verse’)

If you get there be-four I doo,
Cumin’ four two carry me home…
Tell all my friends I’m cumin’ twoo,
Cumin’ four two carry me home…

Chorus

(Song master says, ‘3rd verse’)

I’m sometimes up, I’m some-times down,
Cumin’ four two carry me home…
But still my sole feels heav-en-ly bound,
Cumin’ four two carry me home… (Top)

Chorus

Options:
Song master says, ‘Harlots’, then women do chorus in high pitched voices, screaming in high pitched, exaggerated climax at the each pause.

Song master says, ‘Real Men’, then men do chorus in low, deep voices, exaggerating the size of their p*nis in the ‘cumin’ gesture by hold both hands apart in sweeping, two-handed mast*rbating gesture and swinging hands low to the ground with ‘swing low’

Song master says, ‘Ray Charles’, then pack closes eyes and sings chorus with gestures, moving head from side to side with the beat.

Song master says, ‘Scooby Doo’, then pack sings chorus with gestures using a semi-deep voice with every word beginning with the letter ‘W’ (Wing Wow, Weet Warriot)

Song master says, ‘Humming’, then pack hums chorus with gestures.

Song master says, ‘Silently’, then pack does chorus silently with gestures only, following the lead of the song master. Song masters who screw up the gestures significantly are traditionally awarded a down down after the song.

Song master says, ‘Fast Finish’, then pack sings loud and fast with gestures)
Swing low, sweet char-i-o-ot,
Cumin’ four two carry me home…
Swing low, sweet char-i-o-ot,
Cumin’ four two carry me home.
(Slowly)
Cumin’ four two carry me home.

Hash Hymn Gesture Dictionary
All – Make wide sweeping gesture with hands outward.
Angels – Flap hands to side as though flying.
Band – Hold hands in front of you, cuffing the fingers and making a gesture as though playing the slide of a trombone.
Be-four – hold up four fingers.
Carry – Put hands together in front and briskly swing them back and forth as though cradling a baby.
Cummin’ – Cuff hand and make a mast*rbation gesture. (Some hashers mask the motion with slight of hand by first moving the other hand behind their head and patting it a split second before the mast*rbating gesture, sometimes coughing at the same time).
Chariot – Shake both hands outward as though holding the reins and make horse whinnying noises.
Doo – Put hands on hips and squat as though taking a crap.
Down – Put index and thumb together near crotch as if holding a small p*nis then move the hand downward slightly and wiggle it briskly.
Four – Hold up four fingers.
Friends – Cuff fingers of left hand held outward in front, with thumb and index finger forming a circle. Rapidly insert and withdraw the index finger of the right hand into the circle in a universal fornication gesture.
Home – Hold arms above your head, fingers extended and touching together forming a ‘roof’ over your head.
I – Point to your eye with your index finger
I’m – Point to your chest with your index finger
Heavenly Bound – With hand holding foot, swing it into the air.
Jordan – (River Jordan, traditional) Move hands outward, then right to left, wiggling fingers in a wave motion.
(Michael Jordan, U.S.) Make a basketball jump shot motion.
Looked – Shading eyes with hand and moving head back and forth as if searching.
Me or My – Point to your chest with your index finger.
Over – Sweep hand from ‘Looked’ position outward.
See – Point index finger from ‘I’ position outward.
Sole – Point to bottom of shoe.
Still – (as in distiller) Make drinking gesture with hand, moving head backward.
Sweet – Kiss 1st and 2nd finger and thumb together, throwing the kiss outward.
Swing Low – Intertwine fingers forming a cradle and with arms down, swing them back and forth.
Tell – Put back of hand to mouth, rapidly moving thumb with fingers as in speaking gesture.
There – Point back over your shoulder with your index finger.
Two – Hold up two fingers.
Up – Cuff fingers in front as holding a long p*nis then move the hand upward.
What – Hands out to side, palms up as in a question.
You – Point outward with index finger.

Borrowed from:  http://sarniachemicalwastehhh.com/hashhymn.html

16. The (Short) Down Down Song 

17. If Your Girl/Boy Friend Tastes Like Shit 

18. I LIKE BEER 

On! On!