Hangzhou Hash House Harriers

It’s the same venue, Zheda, what more could be expected except the same old waving guy and unavoided zigzagged trails in botanical gardens. The early comers arrived, waiting for the hare coming back patientely , while other late comers  impatiently. When all arrived, the pack of 6, Sevenup, Deepthroat, Phone Box, Rao Ya, Yuan Wu and Sheepshagger, set out, running up the Yugu road for a few minutes, the trails turned into a muddy path in the bamboo wood of the botanical garden, but the pack soon got stuck in the wood, with the wild and undisplined haring style of Long Memember, our new member, those old dogs,   extra short or long FTs, random circle checks.. When they struggled out of the maze finally, GM seven-up got sick and went back, what an early withdraw! The rest of the pack continued, but soon trapped in the allays in a village between the boarders of the botanical garden and the zheda compus.  New runner Raoya got sick too and couldn’t run more.  Sheepshagger waited and took accompany of her, after having some water and rest, they went on. The pack now divided into 2 groups. When the second group got out of the alley, they can’t find any marks around. No idea whereabout of the first group. So they just went back to the start across Zheda campus. Then about a few minutes later after they arrived, the first group came back. All gathered and came the circle, lots of blames and down-downs for the Long memeber’s confusing way of trail-setting ,to which he refuted but no avail. Then all went to dinenr, followed by a regular drink session in a cute and comfy bar nearby .

On On ..

Sheep Shagger.

Rain, wind, dark clouds rolled in the sky, typhone Morrak was in its foreplay when hare Sheepshagger finished his trail setting work. Two undaunted runners showed up, Liangxue and Raoya, of both are first timer , but how can this two and only new hounds run without instructions by an old hand, and worst of all the rains and winds was drawing tighter. So without doubt, Sheepshagger took the job of old dog, The three runners set out on the road. Rather than running, they walked their way amid the tight rains and winds, with umbrellas. Most marked arrows were gone, washed away of by the rain. Were it not the hare was taking the way! The pack walked along the paved path of park Liu Lang Wen Yin, translated Orioles singing in the willow tree, acrossed Nanshan Rd, up Wansongling Rd, up to the war memorial tower, until they reached to the top of hill, took a RG in the pavillion overlooking the Westlake and the Qiangtang river. Then walked downhill by a anonymous track, passed a hidden Christian nunnery, door closed, wall cracked and backyards untended, perhaps the only one in Hangzhou, which seems a bit out of place and odd in this city of secular heaven and yet home to the countless hustle-bustle buddalism temples . Finaly back to earth ! The pack ended up in the Hefang Str., back to the start and they made it, there they met Phone box, who was coming to join the dinner. The wind and rain drawed even harder. Will do it next time with sunshines and more runners.

On On ..

Sheep Shagger

Hares: Phonebox
Runners: Robert, Dennis, Sevenup, Deep Throat, Arick and two visitors.
Yuhu wan, very beautiful place, and the spring rain made it much prettier but in the meantime the rain brushed most of Phonebox’s work away. Robert, Dennis and Arick arrived around 3pm, and didn’t found the venue until 4:30pm, we all thought that might have scared them away from that time on. Also those two visitors are very interesting, especially the boy. They are from Zhoushan, visiting Hangzhou, met Robert and Dennis on the way, helped them to find the venue, and the boy ran our hash!! Also as always happened on rainy days, we got lost and came back from the original route, then a simple circle, then went back to Fengdu for dinner (Robert and Dennis went back to Xiasha). It is such a good place, deserves a second trail there on a sunny day.

100th Run
Hares: Henti and Sheep Shagger
Participants: Doggiestyle, Deep Throat, Sevenup, Robert, Dennis, Battery Operated, Torvill &Dean, Barbie, Eden, Sheep Shagger’s two friends, Robert’s student, Phonebox, Phonebox’s friend, Titman, Amie, Tim, Creature Comforts, Mudlurk, Jud, Luo, Bestiality, Ménage à trios and her boyfriend(Tom)

It was not as well organized as the 50th run; under the influence of the financial crisis, we tried to keep everything as simple as we could. Take the Friday night bar crawl as an example; we started from the wine center@6 :30pm and then moved to 11:00pm @maya, which was the terminus, no one moved on further than that.
Saturday was the big day – hash running, BBQ at Botanical Garden, sunshine, comfortable temperature, well organised– all sounded perfect, except the reality was: Sevenup’s entry trail crossed Henti’s hash trail, so many people got lost; Sevenup booked the BBQ that Monday but was told no tables or BBQ were available when she arrived; Doggie carried all the food and drinks (water, 26 big cans of beer and 74 bottles of beer) but no one got the information that he needed help to transfer all the stuff from the gate of Peach garden to the BBQ site; the two hares were back half an hour late, though it was already 10 minutes past the set time. So the hash didn’t start until 2:00pm. The whole trail was easy to follow by such a big bunch of people, it meant the trail itself was uneventful, but when we passed a pond, bloody Henti put T&D in! So T&D carried poor Sevenup and JUMPED in – the whole world knows that sevenup is not a swimmer but no one tried to rescue her when she was yelling “help” inside the pond –the pond turned out to be very shallow. Such a memorable moment, pity, no shot or vedio left. 3:00pm the hash finished, 3:10pm hash circle, and Doggie held his last hash circle in Hangzhou. 3:30pm finally BBQ started, only one and half an hour left before the close time of the BBQ site, but hares did nothing when we were out for hash, nothing was been cooked yet! Luckily, the owner of the BBQ site admitted to extend an extra hour for us. Chicken wings and chicken legs were always the first popular food, followed by numerous sausages , bread, shit on the stick , ect. Luo is a very good cook, sitting in front of the BBQ and cook for all of us, still so much food being over cooked and burnt. Toward the end of the BBQ, doggie got the idea of Sevenup should do some revenge to T&D by pouring the cold water onto him as what he did last year to Sevenup. Unfortunately, Sevenup couldn’t lift the tank high enough before T&D found the clue, Doggie rushed over to lift the tank but only wet part of T&D, then T&D poured water onto Deep Throat and Doggie, and Henti joined the game, all in a mess. Eventually, BBQ finished, part of the people started leaving, and part stayed at the Botanical Garden playing games until it’s too dark to do anything else. So Amigo was the destination! More funny thing happened here. Eden is a guy full of all kinds of ideas, as he is French, so under his direction when all of us were half drunk or completely drunk, we did slow dance, kissing, and some dirty dance…. there, might have shocked lots of the costomers there.
Sunday supposed to be the recovering run, and two hares did a good job, especially when hare doggie arrived with a strong beer smell. But only Sevenup and a random Chinese guy enjoyed their fantastic work, really pity. T&D, Barbie, Bestiality, Amie, Creature Comforts came over later for the Hamburgers, and some beer.
A very long weekend to most hashers, and looking forward to the 150th

It was 5 pm, dusk fell , same place, the bridge next to nine creek’s bus terminal, remember the 50’s run? Same people , only fewer. After waiting for other runners and milling around for a long time, Mudluck, her friend He Lin and top tart, decided to run . The trail started unexpectedly by the riverside across the Zhijiang Road, running down the bank of the Qian Tang river for a while , the pack made a turn to the other side of the road , which is a big square , on the corner of the square there is a crossroad , where an RG was called. From there 2 newly paved roads stretching out in different direction, with the arrow on one path , the pack took that one , just after a small distances, they found a FT. The pack ran back to the RG, then checked the other road, which turned out to be the right one, winding down the road , the pack found them in a villa area, aka. the Rose Garden, although the runners didn’t find any rose there, known as the famous upscale villa block of Hangzhou, with designer-made Mediterranean-style houses scattered around the slope, in between grows clean cut shrubs and lawns , the road is clean and devoid of pedestrians and vehicles, what a life! The pack slowed down a bit, then running down a gentle slope, reached to the end of the road , and got back to the Zhijang Rd again, running a few steps they turned into an alley, which took them into a bamboo wood, in which dotted small village houses and patches of vegetable fields , chickens and dogs were playing around, genuine rustic life . Getting through the fields, the packed turned back to a path heading for the end. After the first pack left for 15 minutes, the Sabrina and her friend arrived, as they decided to get off the bus at the zoo and ran all the way to here, due to the horrible Sunday afternoon traffic in Nanshan Rd. So the second pack set off , got lost several times, and finally made it except the last part in the bamboo fields, as when they got to the main road and saw the end of the run ahead, they were too excited and relieved to follow the right way back, a sympathetic offense. Sevenup, our new GM, after enjoying or suffering the mass rush hour traffic in Nanshan RD for almost 2 hours, showed up right before the circle time, who down-downed hare Sheep Shagger for picking this great site that attracted so many traffics, good job, Mr Sheep, no ?! OK, good job, Mr Major! Thanks to their good work, everyone was down-downed for being late except mudluck and her friend who arrived punctually . At last the third pack arrived , two another friends of Sabrina who were more happy to join the dinner than the run. One another thing to note, top tart brought a rabbit with her, and was walking and grazing her rabbit in between the start and end of the run.

The pack assembled outside Maya, some with significant feelings of
deja vu from the the previous week. Your scribe, Bestiality, had run
his way there from Hangda lu, desperate to make sure he was not late
for the start. Apparently, I shouldn’t have bothered, as only new
runner Chris awaited me there with the hares, and a small chinese
child who was immensely enjoying looking up peoples trouser legs. Once
I could no longer stand to have my privates inspected, and 15 minutes
had passed, we set off, collecting Sabrina along the way, who must
have been hiding in the shadows.

They say a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. In
hashing, a journey of a thousand check backs can often start with a
single arrow. I had a feeling we might be in for a rough time as the
first arrow pointed directly between two possible routes at a tree,
giving about as clear an indication as the mona lisa’s smile. The
trail was located however, and quickly took us into the bush behind
Maya where an inevitable hill climb followed. Markings were few and
far between, and with a pack of three, it was often the case that all
possible avenues were checked, then rechecked before the next patch of
flour was found. Indeed, so sparse was the flour that I was recalled
to the trail by shouts of on-on to see a clearly marked trail leading
up and back towards where we had come from. Enthusiasm and a clear
trail proved too much for our less inexperienced hashers, and it was
not long before Sabrina was calling back “what does CB mean?” ON-ON we
went, again finding that the only way to locate the flour was to crawl
with magnifying glasses and hope for the best. Sabrina, by far the
most energetic of the hashers disappeared up the trail as I checked
back to the last mark (yet again) and managed to find an arrow at
about the same time I found two specks of flour leading towards a
dirty brick wall. ON-ON it was and the wall was forgotten in favour of
the clean chalk on pavement which quickly lead us back to Shuguan Lu
and home. Let this be a lesson to hares: if your trail is so hard to
find that people can get 200M off the trail and miss your cleverly
laid traps entirely, then you are not laying enough flour. (I think I
have beat that dead horse enough now…)

We encountered Seven-Up at the finish, who was 20 mins late to the
start of the run, and basically hadn’t bothered to try and catch the
pack. This was marginally better than Vulva who was not just late to
the run, but to the circle itself. Sabrina skipped the drinking, but
the rest of us quickly made up for that. An honourable mention to
Chris here for commitment to his fellow runners; instigating a
personal one runner drinks, all runners drink policy that ensured he
got his fair share of the beer. Seven-Up managed to break basically
every circle rule imaginable in her first week as GM; using her phone,
leaving the circle and at one point giving beer to a 3-yr old child.
By far and away her worst crime was not telling all of us to get
stuffed for even mentioning it, as a GM should rule with an iron fist,
usually clamped around a cup of beer! ON-ON!

After the big birthday party the night before and on a rainy day it’s not expected that many runners will show up, and the on-sec’s vague venue description made everything worse. When Sevenup arrived at the west end of Xinyi fang, there was no one but a heavy rain. Phonebox arrived, under pressure from Sevenup, and virgin hound Chris turned up soon after. Well, we set off quite late. The real venue was at the east side of Xinyi Fang so it took a long time gather all of the hashers, Bestiality, Battery Operated, and Adam, also the two hares, Henti and Pop-tart. The whole trail was deadly easy; it went north along the Grand Canel and then turned back. That’s why when we got lost at Gongchen Bridge, Battery Operated and Phonebox simply took the way back from the other side of the canel, and Sevenup, instead of following Bestality’s correct instruction to go a bit further, turned back too with virgin hasher Chris. Definitely, Chris is not another Pushup as Henti mentioned before the run; he is more like a walker then a runner; could be Skidmarks’ best company if she is still here. And the big difference is, both being different native English speakers, this Chris is moral and polite campared that grandfather, haha. All of our NICE hasher names really embarrased this Chris, but he did enjoy our circle close song. Dinner was at a nearby restaurant. Two scared dishes Henti ordered turned out to be delicious food, and Sevenup shared her dildo (i mean the fake penis, forgot how to spell it) (hebei sausage) which was kindly provided by Henti for everyone. Sheep Shagger and Deep Throat later also joined for the dinner.

Frans, Lucy and Doggiestyle built up a triangle hare group. Except trail setting, they also helped one 8-year old lost girl found her father, well done. Sabrina and Pop-tart arrived quite early, then 7UP, Henti and Adam. The four hashers set off first, while Henti stayed to wait for his another female friend. The runners got lost shortly after because of the hidden turning arrow under the railing of the bridge; this definitely deserves one downdown, plus the later “X”, indicating a wrong trail which turned out to be the correct one, two downdowns for the hares! At the foot of Santai shan, we lost Pop-tart , and couldn’t find her anywhere. Considering that the late starting Henti might catch her, we decided not to wait anymore. No special thing happened on the way up Santai shan, except at one check point, 7UP beat Adam in the “Rock, Scissor, Cloth” game, and won the priority to check the upway, therefore, poor Adam had to first check down before then climbing up again. The way back was uneventful; quite soon we went back to Maojia Bu, followed by Henti and his friend, but no Pop-tart . 7Up made 9 phone calls to her, but without answer– she left her phone and muted it. Though she finally showed up and the circle began. Hares consumed much of the beer because of the ” one hare drinks, all hares drink” rule. There was the regular naming offence, 7UP had put two different venues in the hash email, Lucy used the hash flour to draw a heart on Frans, etc, then it’s time for dinner@fengdu’s. Two excuses, the day after the Valentine’s day and raining, lots of hashers didn’t show up, but it’s still a beautiful run.

Mild breeze, warm sunshine , tea fields and above all Mao Jia Bu made a perfect Sunday afternoon. After a long and funny or boring New Year holiday, it seems that the majority people are still in their winter slumber, except the very few who turned up in the first run in the year of the Ox, the pack of 7 intrepid oxes, namely, consisting of Vulva Voyeur, Doggie, Sheep Shagger,Seven up, Phonebox, Poptart, and virgin runner Du lijun or Sabrina. After jogging a little while along the teahouses from the start, the pack zigzagged into a field of tea trees and shrubs , then the trail lead to a maze in the woods across the street, managed to get out of the maze, the pack found themselves on a stairway uphill, ran up the stairs for minutes, hoping to get to the top of the hill, the pack unexpectedly found a FT on the way about 1/3 distance away from the top, unreluctantly the pack had to pick the fork trail downhill, winding down the path in the tomb-scattered slope, the pack landed to the foot of the hill and hited on the clean and paved Mei Lin road, with the direction in their head and arrows on the trail, the pack got back to the start down the road uneventfully, except Top tart, who is missing mysteriously from the beginning, and called sevenup that she was running by herself and on the way back when the pack was all back. Later she admitted she was thinking on something while the pack left the start. Then after a regular down-down session, which including toasting to the hare Sevenup and Phonebox, new runner Sabrina, several naming offenses( the most boring offenses , so to speak), and Vulva Voyeur’s new shoes offense, topped off by toasting for the Lantern Festival on the next day and the end of spring festival , last but not least especially for Vulva Voyeur and Doggie the end of f*** annoying fireworks. So was the end of the first run in the year of the Ox, aka. the Ox run.

– OnOn Sheep Shagger

A pretty good turnout at the zoo, with most of the expats back in town. Hashers were Vulva Voyeur, Beastiality, Cartoon Porn, Doggie Style, Cindy, and Battery Operated. Amazingly, we had four Co-hares: Torvil & Dean, Barbie, Deep Throat, and Deep Throat’s Flatmate. Two missing Hashers, Sevenup and Sheep Shagger, were, even more amazingly, in the vicinity as they were visiting the zoo (Sheep Shagger’s been getting that tingly feeling in his special area), but did not participate.
So the pack ran off in the direction of Maojiabu and shortly before entering the tunnel, saw a flour mark into the bush. We ran up on to some very steep trails that required some tree grabbing on the way up where we were presented with… a wall. And a fence. Following Torvil & Dean’s admonishment (“When in doubt, climb”), we hopped the fence and on-on’ed into a very nice resort-looking place. After wandering around in general confusion for a bit, an underdressed Bao’an came out and started after us, demanding to know how we got in. So we ran in the opposite direction into some very nice half-finished villas, where an RG was inexplicably called in the upstairs of one house. On-on’ed to some even nicer looking houses, and ANOTHER Bao’an came who told us to stop running because, quote, “there are dogs ahead, and they will bite you!”, which we ignored and kept running. There was a dog, and he didn’t bite us, so on some more and eventually we found out that… we ran in a circle. By this time, the two Bao’an (one half-dressed, one out of uniform) converged on us and told us there was only one way out. Cindy chatted them up while the pack explored the exit and found itself.. about 20 meters away from where it entered the bush in the first place.
According to Cartoon Porn’s convo with the Bao’an, we were in the “Forbidden Area of the Provincial Government” and had we been there the day before, probably would have been shot/arrested as the government was holding a summit and the place was crawling with armed guards. As opposed to two Bao’an who couldn’t run, one out of uniform, one half in uniform.
As we had lost the trail (not because of incompetence, but because we got kicked out), Doggie Style broke Hash convention and phoned up the hares. Then inexplicably disappeared into some random patch of woods, apparently found the trail again, and then it was an easy trot back to the zoo where… there were no hares. (Apparently, they decided to end the hash at a nearby restaurant).
Hares were given down-downs for the most awful marks-to-hare ratio in recent history. No marks for major parts of the trail, only an occasional splotch of white that might be flour, or it might be dried bird doo-doo. No marks for the last part, hence why Vulva Voyeur and Battery Operated got lost looking for the trail and assumed it went back to the zoo. (VV – You missed a 100 cm by 50 cm Mark! – DS) Multiple naming offenses. Cartoon Porn given down-down for the worst pronounciation of “On-on”/imitation of “Young Frankenstein” ever (“AAAAAAAEIIIIIIGHFFFFFHHHOU!!!”). Cindy inexplicably produced a wig in the last part of the run (we’re not sure if she bought it on the run, or was wearing it on the run) and, proving that once again, you either are your hash name or become your hash name, was named… Pop-Tart!
PS. Here’s the “Forbidden Area of the Provincial Government” (zoom all the way in) if anyone’s interested:
here.