Run #80 – What happened to the numering system run

Alas, it was amidst the period of time where the weather turns cold and expats go home. But five brave souls – Beastiality, 7Up, Virgin Mrs. Sheep Shagger (aka “Cindy”), Virgin Jing, and Vulva Voyeur turned up at the Yuewang Temple for a course co-hared by Sheep Shagger and Virgin Co-hare Vigorant. Aside from temperature levels that made Siberia seem like a sauna and wind levels that made Hurricane Katrina seem like a spring breeze, the pack set off in good spirits. Things immediately went a bit awry when the pack encountered circle after circle. A-ha, went the thought through the collective pack mind, Sheep Shagger wants to do a technical course; so much the better! The pack went up a little hill, regrouped at the summit, and sauntered down the other side, where they entered a stretch of relative flat terrain. Here, the first trail violation presented itself: NONSTANDARD NOTATION! A circle, with three arrows pointing in three distinct directions! Hashers duly investigated the three directions, found the right course, and on-on’ed. Some more twists and turns followed including a run into what appeared to be a campground (Camping? In Hangzhou?) and some truly wonderful scenery including a 500-year old tree, and a 5-year old cell phone antenna tower disguised to look like a tree. Said scenery would have been enjoyed in more depth had the weather not turned colder and more ominous, with scary clouds that would made Sauron proud. The pack picked up the pace with the intention of finishing up before the rain hit. But then the pack hit upon quite possibly one of the most egregious trail violations in the history of hash: a marking that said “HZH3 NOW RETURN BACK TO THE START POINT”. Where the bloody hell was the start point? Said marking provided no clues. Fortunately, Virgin Mrs. Sheep Shagger’s seventh sense (the sixth one detects sheep) picked up a trail and the pack headed back to the Yuewang Temple to dole out punishments. Hares were praised at length for coming up with a trail chock-full of rich variety, including hills, flat terrain, campgrounds, and nice scenery. Hares were they heavily brutalized and punished via down-downs for nonstandard notations and the indescribable crime of leaving a course unfinished with just a “NOW RETURN BACK TO THE START POINT” in media res. Beastiality given a down-down for hawking and spitting several times during the course like the peasant farmer he dreams he was. Vulva Voyeur given a down-down for laziness when he didn’t look hard enough for a circle. Virgins Jing and Mrs. Sheep Shagger welcomed to the group, and a round of down-downs all around for numerous naming violations. The pack then headed to “Dong Bei” (Northeast) restaurant for dinner (10 minutes away by car, not fun at all to get to in the freezing cold while taxis and switching shifts). A baoxiang was secured by informing the boss that a “heavily-bearded laowai” would be coming. Food was ingested, drinks imbibed, and a good time was had by all. On on!—Vulva Voyeur